Little Book of Etiquette

This book, by etiquette and protocol maven Dorothea Johnson, is a handy reference for those who need to brush up on their dining etiquette.  The pocket-size book will show you how to "Eat at ease as a guest or as a host in business and social arenas worldwide."

There is a lot of information packed into this tiny book (it's 3" x 3"), covering:

Dining Dos and Don'ts

Table Talk

American and Continental Styles of Eating

The Dining Tutorial

Eating Various Foods

Finessing the Business Meal

Forms of Service

This book is available on Amazon and would make a great gift for new college students, those entering the business world, or a gift to young people.

Good table manners are the ultimate symbol of who you are and how you were raised.

Royals Coming to America

The Royals are coming y'all!

Prince Charles and Duchess Camilla are coming to America!  On March 17th, they will arrive and spend three days undertaking a broad range of engagements in Washington, D.C. and Louisville, KY.  

Just in case you run into them, you must make sure that you follow proper Royal Etiquette.

Do you curtsy, bow, salute, or shake hands?  Unless you are British, you don't curtsy or bow to British Royalty.  Wait until they speak to you before you speak.  Don't shake hands until the royal hand is offered to you.  

When meeting the Prince, it's a gracious gesture to give a bow from the head.  Address the Prince as "Your Royal Highness," then "Sir."

When meeting the Duchess you might do a little bob, just to show respect.  Address the Duchess as "Your Royal Highness," then "Ma'am."

If you are British, you curtsy to the Duchess...Put your right foot behind your left foot and briefly lower yourself several inches while bending at the knees with one foot forward.  Be sure to keep your upper body straight.

Sarah Brown, wife of the former U.K. Prime Minister Gordon Brown, gracefully curtsies to the Duchess of Cornwall.

Hugging or kissing a member of the Royal Family is definitely a Royal Etiquette faux pas!

Social Graces Sunday--Remembering Names

Goodness gracious, have you ever forgotten the name of someone you were just introduced to?  How embarrassing is that?!  How does it feel when someone forgets your name?  Not good, right?  Usually you forget someone's name because you are not listening or paying attention.  It happens to all of us...You meet someone during a social function and the next day you see that person again and draw a blank on their name.  Faces are easy to remember, but names, not so easy.

Having just moved to a new town, I meet new people every day.  I'll admit that it's not easy to remember all the names of the new acquaintances I've met at church, at shops, neighbors, et cetera.  

Remembering a person's name is being polite and considerate.  It's the most basic step in showing respect and building a meaningful relationship.  There is no sound as sweet as the sound of one's own name.  You have to make an active effort to focus on the person's name to remember someone's name.  

When you are introduced to someone, repeat their name.  "It's nice to meet you Mary."  Use the person's name frequently in conversation and when saying goodbye.

Find something about Mary and associate that as a visual with her name; i.e., a similar person, place, or thing that you will remember later.  You might also ask for the person's card and make a note later on the card to help you remember the face to the card.

When people wear name badges in public gatherings, it makes things a lot easier!  Name badges should be worn on your right shoulder.  The reason is when we extend our right hand {always the right hand} for a hand shake, our eye automatically goes in the direction of the person's right hand and their right shoulder.  

Everyone struggles with remembering names from time to time.  If you forget someone's name say "Please tell me your name again."

Social Graces Sunday

Lately I find myself visiting Facebook less and less.  I love the idea of keeping up with family members and friends who live far away.  I confess that I also like to keep up with friends I haven't seen in years...being curious about third grade classmates or high school friends.  I especially like following businesses so I can keep up with sales, etc.

What I do not like is the ever-increasing political/religious arguments.  I'm also not a fan of bashing your boss or workplace, trashing ex partners, or over sharing.

The over sharing is out of hand.  Seriously, when did sharing a photo of your naked, pregnant belly become interesting to anyone?

Horrific photos of your latest medical procedure are also considered over sharing!

And would someone please tell me why parents are sharing photos of their naked children in the bathtub?  Why anyone would post such a thing, especially in today's world?  It's baffling!

On another level of annoying me is the "Poke."   Am I completely out of the loop?  Why would grown people do such a thing?

Those vague status, attention-seeking{vague booking}posts crack me up too.  You know the ones meant to generate comments of interest.  Whatever.

People don't like complainers in real life and certainly not on social media.  Keep your negativity and ailments to a minimum, or better yet, keep them to yourself!

Please, please stop with the game application requests...Lord have mercy, I don't want to be your FarmVille neighbor!

Be considerate when tagging others in photos.  Not everyone wants their photo to appear online.  It is not a breech of Facebook etiquette to untag yourself in a photo.

You don't have to share every little detail of your life on Facebook or any other social media site.  I do have a tendency to over share my whereabouts{per my husband who shares nothing}, so several years ago I decided that I would not advertise where I am in real time.  For instance, I post photos of a restaurant, store, etc. after I have left, not while I'm there.  Of course, I don't do this all the time, but whenever possible.

Last, but not least, don't like your own posts.  That's just plain tacky!

Wedding Guest Etiquette

We all know that Brides want to follow Wedding Etiquette, but did you know that there is etiquette to followed when you are a guest at a wedding?

I love this recent article in Southern Living Weddings "The Complete Guide to Being a Perfectly Southern Wedding Guest."

Before the Wedding

RSVP as soon as possible

Once you have your invitation in hand, make note of the RSVP date, and send your response as far in advance as you can. Better yet, if you already know you're attending, turn around and drop the RSVP card in the mail immediately!  If you don't R.s.v.p., people will remember!

Respect the guest list 

If you're single and the bride and groom would like you to bring a guest, your invitation will say "and guest," or they will call you ahead of time to see whom you'd like to bring and address the invitation accordingly. Children are invited if the invitation lists their names or says "and family." For heaven's sake, don't call the couple and ask to bring people they didn't invite—that's uncomfortable for everyone.  I had to remind my single brother of this rule recently...he was about to commit a wedding guest etiquette faux pas by bringing a date!

Utilize the resources the couple provides 

Read the couple's wedding website thoroughly before asking questions about travel or schedules. If you really can't find information you need, try contacting the mother of the bride or a member of the bridal party before asking the bride or groom directly, especially in the weeks and days leading up to the wedding.  Try not to bother the Bride...she's aready in a big tizzy.

At the ceremony

Be mindful of the dress code

This will often be specified on the wedding website, but if not, make an educated guess using the invitation, venue, and time of day as guides. A sundress and wedges are probably fine for an afternoon barn wedding, but an evening ballroom wedding requires at least a cocktail dress. When in doubt, dress up. Many guests look forward to weddings as opportunities to look their very best, and we love this tradition! Additionally, pay special attention to the attire guidelines for ceremonies held in houses of worship.  Make sure you know the difference between White Tie and Black Tie...White Tie--for the men, black dress tailcoat with matching slacks, white wing-collard shirt with cuff links, white vest, and black patent shoes with black socks.  For the the ladies--a floor-length gown.  Black Tie--for the men, black tuxedo jacket and matching slacks, formal white shirt with cuff links, black bow tie, black cummerbund, and black patent shoes with black socks. For the ladies--floor-length gown or dressy cocktail dress.

Don't wear white

Unless the bride and groom expressly ask you to wear white, don't do it. Some people consider this rule out of date, because no one will mistake a guest for the bride, but even if you know the bride won't mind, it's very likely that other guests will find your choice of attire rude or disrespectful. With all of the beautiful and colorful options available today, leave the white sundress at home for this one.  I am old-fashioned and still follow this rule and I don't wear red or black to a wedding either...that's just me!

Arrive at least 15 minutes (and up to a half hour) before the ceremony 

Give yourself time to park your car, pick up your program, and take your seat without even a chance of running into the bride before her walk down the aisle! Weddings are one occasion where there is no such thing as fashionably late. If you do arrive after the specified time despite your best efforts, an usher may be able to direct you inside at an appropriate time. If not, wait for a "louder" part of the ceremony, such as a hymn, before quietly seating yourself in the back.  Yes please be on time!

Put your camera and cell phone away (on silent)

Many couples now specifically request "unplugged" ceremonies, but even if they don't, resist the urge to snap pictures at the ceremony. Not only can a clicking camera be distracting to other guests, but it can also make the professional photographer's job difficult.  Respect the wishes of the Bride and Groom.

At the Reception

Don't attend the reception if you didn't go to the ceremony

The ceremony is the most important part of the wedding, and the reception is a celebration of that—not just a party. If you don't want to attend both, it may be best to stay at home.  Enough said.

Sit in the appropriate seat 

If the bride and groom have specified table numbers and seating assignments, sit where they ask you to. They have probably spent several hours laboring over whom to place where, and who knows what connections you'll make with your fellow guests!  This is a pet peeve of mine.  Never rearrange a placecard or ask the host if you can switch seats with someone...it's so tacky!

Be mindful of social media 

While couples almost universally prefer to have their ceremonies be social media free, there's not a one-size-fits-all guide for the reception. Some couples make it clear (often with a hashtag sign) that they welcome guests sharing photos, posts, or tweets, while others would prefer not to have their photos splashed over every newsfeed. Follow the couple's lead, or let your best judgment of their personalities guide your sharing.  Don't be tweeting or instagramming their photos before they do!  

Have fun!

Enjoy the meal, get on the dance floor, sign the guest book, attempt to catch the bouquet, and wish the bride and groom well. They've worked hard to make their reception a wonderful evening for you as well as them, and they'll be thrilled to see you having a good time.  Lord have mercy, don't make a scene!

After the Wedding

Send a thank-you note 

While your duties as a guest largely conclude when you head home from the reception (after the cake is cut, of course!), there's one surefire way to earn yourself a spot in the hall of fame: Send a thank-you note. A handwritten message to the bride and groom and/or to their parents, if they're hosting, can mean so much after a year or more of intense planning.  It is always appropriate to send a thank-you note!

Party Etiquette

If you love parties like I do, make sure you practice "Party Etiquette" so that you'll be invited back!

 
R.s.v.p.  If you don't R.s.v.p., you are committing a huge etiquette faux pas and will surely be taken off the host' party list.  Also, do not bring an uninvited guest.

Don't arrive early.  The host will be busy with last-minute preparations and will not have the time to entertain you.

Bring a gift to the host {champagne or wine}.

Greet your host and say thank you for the invite.

Mingle with the other guests.  Don't be a wallflower.

Don't overindulge in alcohol and don't eat like you are a starving field hand.

Remember to practice good dining etiquette skills.

Offer to help clean up.

Don't overstay your welcome.

After you have said your goodbyes to all the guests, thank your host before you leave.

Remember to send a thank-you note to your host.  The. Next. Day.