Social Graces Sunday--Remembering Names

Goodness gracious, have you ever forgotten the name of someone you were just introduced to?  How embarrassing is that?!  How does it feel when someone forgets your name?  Not good, right?  Usually you forget someone's name because you are not listening or paying attention.  It happens to all of us...You meet someone during a social function and the next day you see that person again and draw a blank on their name.  Faces are easy to remember, but names, not so easy.

Having just moved to a new town, I meet new people every day.  I'll admit that it's not easy to remember all the names of the new acquaintances I've met at church, at shops, neighbors, et cetera.  

Remembering a person's name is being polite and considerate.  It's the most basic step in showing respect and building a meaningful relationship.  There is no sound as sweet as the sound of one's own name.  You have to make an active effort to focus on the person's name to remember someone's name.  

When you are introduced to someone, repeat their name.  "It's nice to meet you Mary."  Use the person's name frequently in conversation and when saying goodbye.

Find something about Mary and associate that as a visual with her name; i.e., a similar person, place, or thing that you will remember later.  You might also ask for the person's card and make a note later on the card to help you remember the face to the card.

When people wear name badges in public gatherings, it makes things a lot easier!  Name badges should be worn on your right shoulder.  The reason is when we extend our right hand {always the right hand} for a hand shake, our eye automatically goes in the direction of the person's right hand and their right shoulder.  

Everyone struggles with remembering names from time to time.  If you forget someone's name say "Please tell me your name again."

Name Badge Etiquette

Recently, I saw this photo of Bethany, the author of Maryland Pink and Green blog, photographed with a friend...I was pleasantly surprised {and commented so} that they were both wearing their name badges in the proper place!

And later, I saw this photo of Miss Sarah Gould Long {in the middle} with 2 of her sorority sisters on Bid Day at The University of Alabama.  Sarah is from my hometown of Augusta and is the author of
Too Much is Never Enough blog.  How cute is she y'all?!  Again, I commented on this photo on Instagram...as an etiquette consultant, I do appreciate when people practice proper name badge etiquette!

Children should be taught at a young age that your name badge should be worn on your right shoulder.

I know that most employers require their employees wear name badges on the left shoulder, but this is incorrect...Etiquette dictates the badges be placed on the right shoulder!

The reason for this is that when we extend our right hand {always the right hand} for a handshake, our eye automatically goes in the direction of the other person's right hand.

...because you step out on your right foot, extend your right hand, look at the person's name, make eye contact and introduce yourself.

Not sure how to write a name badge?  Robert Hickey, Deputy Director of the Protocol School of Washington is the author of Honor and Respect, The Official Guide to Names, Titles, and Forms of Address.  He explains here how to make sure your badges are written in the proper form.  A link to order this book may be found under my "Recommendations" page.

Tea With Miss Janice, Post #9

It's Tea Time! The day of your event has arrived. Let's begin right at the front door with a little guest and hostess etiquette!

When you arrive at someone's home, ring the bell and stand back. When your hostess opens the door, wait to be invited inside. First, remove your gloves as soon as you step inside. It has never been correct to eat or drink with gloved hands.

Hat and gloves are okay to wear to tea...remember to remove those gloves as soon as you enter the home or pick up that teacup!

Little girls at tea...no gloves please...do not raise that pinkie finger either!!!

You may wear a hat to tea, but the hostess never wears a hat.Greet your hostess, but don't monopolize her. Mingle with other guests.

If you are given a name badge to wear, remember that it goes on your right shoulder. Oh yes, it does! Most employers require that employees wear name badges on the left shoulder, but this is incorrect...Etiquette dictates the badges be placed on the right shoulder! The reason for this is that when we shake hands, our eye automatically goes in that direction.

Name badges placed on the right shoulder...

What is the proper way to introduce yourself to others?
~Stand up--You should always stand up when being introduced or introducing yourself. It is considered rude to remain seated during an introduction.

~Smile--First impressions are everything!

~Make Eye contact--Are you uncomfortable looking directly at someone's eye's or just not sure which eye to look at??? Don't look up into the air, down at the floor, or around the room. Make eye contact! I teach children about a "safety zone." This is the area where they should look, just above the nose and between the eyebrows. If you ever see photos of children from my etiquette programs, you will notice they have a happy-face sticker on this safety zone--to remind them where to look!

Making eye contact...looking at the "Safety Zone"

~Shake Hands--Shaking hands is a universal form of greeting someone. It's very easy and important to learn how to give a proper handshake. Step out onto your right foot, extend your right hand (thumb up and remaining part of your hand flat). Grip the hand of the person you are greeting, making sure that the webs of both of your hands connect. Pump your hand firmly a couple of times. Don't shake with a limp hand and don't shake someone's hand too hard...just a nice firm grip. Remember, only the Queen of England is allowed to shake hands while wearing gloves!

~Introduce yourself--Say, "Hello, my name is Janice Gibson." It is your duty to introduce yourself at any function, large or small, if no one introduces you. Remember that when you are introducing others, the first name spoken is that of the older or more distinguished person; i.e., "Mrs. Smith (older lady), I would like to introduce to you Mr. Roberts." "Mr. Roberts (older gentleman), I would like to introduce to you my daughter Mary. If you really want to be ever-so proper, remember to say "introduce to you not introduce you to."

Young girls practicing introductions...

After all the guests have arrived, you may be asked to go through a Receiving Line/Reception line. What is the difference between a Reception Line and a Receiving Line? A Reception Line is formed at an event (wedding, afternoon tea, formal dinner, etc.) and may consist of the Bride/Groom/Parents or Host/Hostess/Guest of Honor. The Reception line most likely will include an Introducer who will introduce all the guests in the Receiving Line, guests waiting to meet and greet the people in the Reception Line.



~The guests should smile, make eye contact, introduce themselves (if there is no introducer), and shake hands with the host/hostess/guest of honor.

~Do not shake hands with the introducer.

~Never carry a beverage in your hand when you go through a receiving line.

~Remember that a parent goes before a child, to set the example.

~A lady precedes a gentleman, except at the White House or a military function.

A Reception Line at Afternoon Tea...

I'm so glad that you joined me again today. Tomorrow, I will be talking about "Beginning the Tea...taking your seat, saying Grace, serviette etiquette, and the proper etiquette of pouring tea. I hope that you will stop by again! Have a tea-lite-ful day!