Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I Cannot Commit

Well, Mama has gone back to Georgia.  I am blessed to have been able to care for her in my home for the past 5 weeks.  Bless her heart, she was homesick and wanted to be in her own home.  I cannot blame her for that at all.  Isn't that what we all want?  Don't we want to be inside our little nest, comfortable in our own surroundings, sleeping in our own comfy bed?  Besides, the lady at the beauty shop here in Florida didn't tease Mama's hair high enough.  Mama's exact words: "I'm not going back there...She doesn't know how to do hair!"

Mama isn't an invalid, but bless her heart, her memory is not good and she's a bit frail.  So now, she's back home with my brother J.D. and we have hired a caregiver to "sit with Miss Pauline."  Prayers please...I'm not sure how that's gonna work out 'cuz Mama is the Queen and doesn't take orders from others well.  I'm planning to go back up to Georgia to help with her care soon.

I feel so blessed to be able to spend time with my Mama at this time in her life.  My Mama has lived her entire life for God, her family, and her friends.  Now, both my brother and myself are committed to her well-being and scheduling our lives around her.

For that reason, I am finding it difficult to commit to anything else.  Supper club group...can't commit.  I would love to be able to volunteer with a few organizations, but I can't commit to times and dates. The other day, a lady from the church wedding guild called and asked for my help.  Well, I couldn't commit to that...Let down a bride at the last minute? Lord no!  I would like to find a fun part-time job {is there such a thing?}, but if asked "When are you available?" that would be hard to say!  Scheduling an etiquette program is also out of the question.  I would be terribly embarrassed to cancel a group at the last minute due to a needed trip to Georgia.  You may have noticed that I haven't been hosting any fancy soirees here at "The Roost."  Everything I plan now is last-minute and pretty low-key...

So, it's very hard for me to commit.  Please don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.  Just kinda wondering...Do y'all have issues in your life that keep you from committing?


Stacey said...

Miss Janice, I'm right there with ya! I'm helping with in-laws and I have a son with health issues. We just moved on top. I've been thinking about Meals on Wheels but not sure if I can commit. People need to be needed and you are needed in a different way right now. :)

elizabeth said...

I have a similar issue - both my parents aren't in the best of health and live out of state, I also have a 3 year old that gets asthma almost every time she gets a cold, and a 17 year old loves to plan things and forget to tell her mother! It makes it difficult to volunteer, or make plans because I am always afraid I will be getting a call and need to leave.

DisneyCosmo said...

When my grandmother was in my mother's care, she could not committ either. She felt there would not be that much more time with her mother and garden club or volunteering with the city could wait. Of course now that she's no longer caring for her mother, she's caring for my two young nephews! But it makes her feel needed, so good for her.


Suburban Princess said...

It's the same with a small child...I often say yes with the caveat that I might have to bring him or I might not be able to come if I can't find a babysitter.

Beeutiful by Design said...

Now that I'm back in school full time and working full time I have found my life riddled with noncommital engagements! I have now found a happen medium in accepting invitiations with the caveat that I may not be able to attend if homework is not completed. Pleasantly most are happy to accomodate me (so far). It is a struggle and I admire your focus on your Mom and her care. Jennifer

Lori said...

I understand perfectly. I'm kind of in the same situation with my family. I have to watch my mother who has dementia and babysit 3 grandchildren. I can't even commit to a lunch date. But I know it won't last forever and then I'll have my life back. You're just doing what you need to do for your sweet Mama. You'll never regret commiting this time to her. This is what we do for the people we love and who matter the most. You're a good daughter, Janice.


Lori said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
annie said...

Oh Yes, Miss Janice I surely did.
I had my mother with me for many years and could not commit to much for that time as she was bed ridden and needed constant care until she passed on.
I damaged my back lifting her at one point and cannot walk much anymore. My life revolves around how much pain I am in on a daily basis so many things go by the wayside.
People will surely understand that you are at the ready to help your mother.
Everything works out for good in the end. :)
I will keep you and your mother in my prayers for sure.

Deanna said...

Sweet Summer Blessings to you!
Yes, I do have issues in my life that have come first before committing to life outside of my home. It's been a very challenging season for me and I have to pray a great deal. As the Grand daughter that I provide daycare for starts school in mid August, I pray that I will be able to do things outside my home.
God bless,

Anonymous said...

I so understand, Janice. My little mother is 89 and lives in a retirement home about 5 minutes from me. We still have her little condo and she keeps saying she could still live there, but she really can't. She's on a cane and really doesn't have to do anything and she doesn't. How blessed we are to have our mothers with us and I will say a prayer for her, you and your brother as you care for her.
Shelia ;)

AngelaV said...

Miss Janice: My father passed last August and my mother is in assisted living about an hour from me. Her health is going downhill. I'm in the same boat with you. I do still volunteer but I choose things where I could cancel at the last minute and it wouldn't be too much of a problem. I live day to day never knowing when I'm going to get "that phone call".

Unknown said...

I can't even commit to read all my favorite blogs in a timely manner these days. As a new momma, I completely understand. I just had to resign from a few volunteer positions I enjoy. I was talking to one of my aunts who is leading this great mentoring program for new moms at her church in Peachtree City, and she was telling me to look at my life as different chapters in a book. It helped so much. I hope you are able to enjoy this chapter of caring for your sweet mother. What an honor to show her the love and care she has shown to you.