Let's Shake Hands!

I receive a lot of e-mails from my readers about "Handshaking Etiquette." So here's a little "Handshaking Etiquette" for all y'all!

Handshaking is a valuable form of nonverbal communication. It is a vital part of creating a first impression and sending a parting message. The handshake is the only socially acceptable situation in which you can touch a stranger of the same or opposite sex without raising suspicion.

When introducing yourself to others you should: Stand up, Smile, Make Eye Contact, Introduce Yourself, and Shake Hands.

What is a handshake? A handshake is when two people grip and shake each other's hand. Handshaking is important when you meet and say hello to another person. It is also important to shake a person's hand when you say goodbye.

Right now, hold up your right hand. This is the hand that is used when you shake hands. Now spread your fingers apart. Do you see those webs between your fingers? Humans have webs between their fingers just like ducks have webs between their toes.

To get ready for a handshake, hold up your hand--fingers flat and straight out, with your thumb straight up. To make a good handshake, you must gently and slowly move your hand up and down, bending your arm at the elbow. Your grip should be firm, but not crushing. Make sure the web between your thumb and index finger is touching the other person's web!

There are a few basic handshakes you might experience when shaking hands with others:

~The finger squeezer--The person squeezes your hand too tight...not a proper handshake.
~The water pumper--The person pumps your hand up and down like he or she is drawing water from a well...not a proper handshake.
~The two-handed handshake--The person grabs your hand with both of their hands. This handshake is sometimes used by clergy when conveying sympathy...an acceptable handshake--by a clergy.

~The palm pinch handshake--The person offers two or three fingers. This is an old-school handshake, especially used by Southern ladies...very old-fashioned handshake and not acceptable in a business situation.

~The topper handshake--The dominant party in this handshake has his or her palm facing down in relation to the other person. This says "I'm in control."...not a proper handshake.

There are two basic rules on who extends the hand first:

In a social situation when a lady meets a man, the lady has the prerogative to extend her hand or not. The man should wait for the lady to extend her hand first. If she doesn't, then a handshake should not take place.

In business, it's based on military protocol, and gender is not a consideration. The person of higher authority is supposed to extend first. Not everyone in the business community knows that piece of etiquette. Give the person of higher authority a chance to extend first, and if he/she doesn't, then go ahead and extend your hand.

Due to cultural differences, physical capabilities, et cetera, do not insist on shaking someone's hand or make a big deal over it...just exchange greeting gestures poliltely.

Remember, remove your gloves to shake hands...only the Queen of England can get away with shaking hands while wearing gloves!

SEPTEMBER IS NATIONAL CHILDREN'S GOOD MANNERS MONTH

It's back-to-school time. No more linen or white shoes...and no more flip flops--please! Autumn is just around the corner. Back-to-school time is a great time to start fresh with your child's behavior training.

Good manners should start at home. Unfortunately, in today's fast-paced world, parents rarely have the time to teach their children proper etiquette skills. Also, if parents don't know how to behave, then children rarely have a chance to learn etiquette skills. Nowadays, most parents send their children off to daycare or school with the attitude of "You fix 'em--I don't have time!"

On a visit to the library, I overheard this...A mother came in with three children--two teenagers and a small child, who was about three years old. Of course, the little one was squirming and fussin'. The mother and the teenagers kept putting their index finger in front of their mouths and shushing her. I looked up and giggled--well, she was a small child, after all. To my horror, a few moments later, I heard the mother tell the little girl to "Shut the **** up!" I simply cannot imagine my mama ever talking to me that way. The worse thing I ever heard my mama say was, "I swannee!" A genteel Southern lady like my mama would never even say "I swear," and that's what I swannee means in Southern talk. So, that was my mama's idea of cussin' and it was reserved for those times when she was about to explode with anger...she's soooo Southern!

Parents should set a good example for their children. They should also take responsibility and teach their children how to behave before they send them off to school. Remember that today's children are tomorrow's leaders. Here's some tips that might help you get started teaching your child how to behave:

~Teach your child to share with others.
~Teach your child to wait their turn.
~Teach your child not to interrupt while others are speaking.
~If you show respect to others, your child will learn a valuable lesson from you.
~Teach your child the importance of being honest.
~If you practice kindness by using kind words like "please, thank you, you're welcome, and excuse me," your child will learn another valuable lesson from you.
~Praise your child when they show good manners.
~Remember to lead by example!

Here's a couple of etiquette books I recommend to parents of small children and teenagers:

For little girls...this one is just the best...White Gloves and Party Manners, by Marjabelle Young (Stewart) and Ann Buchwald
Stand Up, Shake Hands, Say "How Do You Do?" by Marjabelle Young Stewart and Ann Buchwald...an excellent book for little boys

Teen Manners, From Malls to Meals to Messaging and Beyond, by Cindy Post Senning and Peggy Post...a must-have for teenagers. This book answers questions that come up in real life.

Any of these books would make a great gift for a child or teenager. Even better, study the book with them and brush up on your own etiquette skills!

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it."
Proverbs 22:6

Thank you so much for stopping by today.