Finessing the Scone

In the oh-so proper world of tea etiquette there are rules to be followed at tea--from the way you sit to the way you hold your teacup.  You really must mind your t’s and q’s at tea!

Scones are a quintessential part of a Cream Tea.  The scone is a simple biscuit often made plain or with currants and is a perfect accompaniment to a cup of tea.  Whether you pronounce it scone rhyming with bone or scone rhyming with gone, finessing the scone at tea can be very tricky.

I studied etiquette at The Protocol School of Washington with the etiquette expert Dorothea Johnson.  Ms. Johnson has authored several books on the subject of Tea Etiquette and the following methods of finessing the scone are from her books:

~Using the tea spreader/butter knife, slice through the scone horizontally, resting it flat on your plate.  Spoon small dallops (just enough for a single scone) of jam and cream onto your plate.  Never spoon directly onto the scone.  Take only the amount of topping needed to eat that one scone and spread one bit at a time, not over the whole scone.  Use your knife to dab the edge of the scone with jam, then cream; eat that portion and return the rest to your plate.  Between bites, remember to rest the knife on the upper right side of your plate, with the cutting edge of the blade facing the center of the plate.

~Slice through the scone on your plate; lift off the top piece.  Using the spreader, spread only the bottom half first with jam and then cream.  Place the spreader on the upper right side of your plate.  You may pick this half of the scone up with your hand, but be ready to use your serviette for any jam and cream around the mouth area. (This is the way I prefer to eat my scone).

~Slice through the scone on your plate; lift off the top piece, and break off a bite-size piece with your fingers.  Repeat the procedure for adding jam and cream above.

Well-made scones can be pulled apart with the fingers; however, if the scone is not moist, then a spreader/knife can be used.  The English consider it a faux pas to slice the scone with a knife, maybe that’s because their scones are not hard like some we have in the U.S.

Scone Faux Pas:
Unless you are the Queen Of England, remove your gloves at tea.


~Never put the scone halves back together like a sandwich, after spreading on the jam and cream.

~Don’t pour whipped cream over an unopened scone--like gravy over a biscuit.

~Don’t serve the cream and jam from the container directly onto the scone--spoon it onto the tea plate first, the spread a small amount of each onto the scone.

So, which way do you do it?


What is the difference between a Devon and Cornish Cream Tea?  It is the order in which you add the jam and cream onto your scone.  Should you add the jam or cream first?  The Devonshire method is to split the scone in two, cover each half with clotted cream, then add strawberry jam on top.  With the Cornish method, the jam goes on first and then the cream on top.

The Queen reportedly prefers jam first, according to Darren McGrady, a former chef who worked for the royal family from 1982-1993. "The Queen always had homemade Balmoral jam first, with clotted cream on top at Buckingham Palace garden parties in the royal tea tent & and all royal tea parties."

It really doesn’t matter if you add cream or jam first, it’s just a personal preference.

Thank you for visiting with me today!  I will be back tomorrow with a few recipes for a Cream Tea.

Lemon Etiquette at Teatime

Lemon is a delightful addition to hot tea and of course there is etiquette to be followed at teatime.  Tea pairs exceptionally well with Anne of Green Gables and today I'm sipping a Darjeeling tea from Harney Tea.  Darjeeling is a black tea--"The Queen of Teas," a blend of First Flush and Autumnal teas from the best tea gardens.  I would only add a lemon slice to a black tea.  Be sure to pour the tea in first, then add sugar, then the lemon.  Lemon is offered thinly sliced (never in wedges!).



A lemon fork (with splayed tines) should be provided.  The tea pourer or the tea drinker can then put a slice directly into the poured cup of tea.  Should you desire another cup of tea, the pourer will remove the slice of lemon from your cup, place it into the tea slop bowl (shown on the right), and pour your tea.  The tea pourer or you may add a fresh lemon slice.  You may also be offered a fresh cup, depending on availability.  Remember that milk and lemon are never used together in tea.  The citric acid of the lemon causes the milk to curdle


Etiquette tip--These are a few lemon faux pas you do not want to commit at teatime:

~Putting the lemon slice into the cup before pouring the tea.  Tea is always poured in the cup first.
~Placing a lemon slice on the edge of the saucer in anticipation of adding it to the cup later.
~Transferring the lemon slice from the cup to the saucer.  You will end up with your cup resting in a puddle of tea.
~Removing the cloves from the lemon slice before placing in the teacup.  The cloves are placed in the lemon slices to add flavor.
~Using the spoon to press the lemon slice after you place it in the cup.  The oil from the peel and the juice from the fruit will provide the desired essence.

"Of course I'll stay to tea, said Anne gaily.  I was dying to be asked."
Anne of Green Gables

Cream Tea

Tea time is anytime, however, there are certain names for special times of the day to take tea--Breakfast Tea, Elevenses, Afternoon Tea, Light Tea, Royal Tea, Silver Tea, High Tea, and Cream Tea.
Cream Tea is one of my favorites teas!  This British tradition is a light repast that originated in Southwest England. It is served with tea & scones and must include jam and clotted cream.
National Cream Tea Day will be celebrated in Britain this Friday, June 29th.  Since I’m a tea and scone enthusiast, I am enjoying a tea today and will share with y’all the etiquette of a Cream Tea.  Tomorrow I will talk about Finessing the Scone, on Thursday I will offer some Scone/Cream/Jam recipes, and on Friday I’ll post about a visit to a tearoom to enjoy a proper Cream Tea.

I have chosen to enjoy my tea today as a "Low Tea," versus a "Seated Tea," (at the dining table).  A Low Tea is enjoyed while seated in a comfortable chair or seated on a sofa.
I am using a tea table to hold my tea tray.

I will begin by placing my serviette/napkin (12" square) onto my lap.  The serviette is opened fully and placed on the leg area just above the knees.
My tea for today is Harney Tea's ‘Florence’  tea.  It is a chocolate hazelnut black tea.  I love flavored teas!

Since I’m serving myself, I will pour the tea, which was steeped with tea leaves, into my teacup through a silver tea strainer. (The strainer is designed to fit over the teacup to catch tea leaves that escape from the pot when the tea is poured). After the tea is strained, the strainer is placed over a small silver bowl.



What is this??? It’s a Waste Bowl, also known as a Slop Bowl.  It is used for the spent tea leaves (if your tea strainer becomes full) or for emptying the end of a cup gone cold.

The tea plate will rest on the serviette.  The teacup and saucer is held in the palm of the left hand or left on the tea table.  Just remember that the teacup and saucer are never more than 12" apart.
Now I’m off to enjoy my tea this delicious scone.

But, how to add the cream and jam to the scone and how to eat it?  I will be back tomorrow to discuss "Scone Etiquette."  And yes, there are several correct ways to eat a scone!

Little Book of Etiquette

This book, by etiquette and protocol maven Dorothea Johnson, is a handy reference for those who need to brush up on their dining etiquette.  The pocket-size book will show you how to "Eat at ease as a guest or as a host in business and social arenas worldwide."

There is a lot of information packed into this tiny book (it's 3" x 3"), covering:

Dining Dos and Don'ts

Table Talk

American and Continental Styles of Eating

The Dining Tutorial

Eating Various Foods

Finessing the Business Meal

Forms of Service

This book is available on Amazon and would make a great gift for new college students, those entering the business world, or a gift to young people.

Good table manners are the ultimate symbol of who you are and how you were raised.

Is Voice Mail a Thing of the Past?

I'm wondering if voice mail is a thing of the past...like the cute pink Princess telephone?  The other day I placed a call to someone and it went to voice mail.  I left my message and waited on the person to return my call.  Well, she called me back and said "What's up?"  I replied "Didn't you listen to the message I left you?"  She said "No."

What?  Has this happened to y'all?  Instead of listening to messages left on voice mail, is it now a thing to just return the call?  I'm not comfortable leaving messages...especially on a business call.  It's even more ridiculous that a lot of businesses have voice mails that say "Your call is very important to us..." but then they take DAYS to return your call.

So, is texting the new voice mail.  A quick text does get right to the point, but leaving a voice mail allows you to be expressive.  Is voice mail a thing of the past?  Do you even bother to leave voice mails anymore?

The Champagne of the South

It's National Iced Tea Month and nothing is more refreshing on a hot day than a glass of iced tea.  Known as the The Champagne of the South, The Table Wine of the South, and The Beverage of Hospitality, enjoying a glass of iced tea is one of the most relaxing things that you can do.  It slows you down from your hectic pace and gives you a chance to take a deep breath and relax.

Please remember that even in the South, iced tea is only served at informal meals and at Afternoon Tea, NOT at a formal meal.  Note:  There is no iced tea goblet in a formal dinner setting.

Properly served, iced tea is served in a tall glass with a doily, a saucer (bread plate), and an iced teaspoon.  Many savvy Southern brides include iced teaspoons and crystal iced tea goblets on their Bridal Registry.

If the spoon is used to stir your tea after adding sugar, the teaspoon is placed on an iced teaspoon rest, as shown below...

If there is no spoon rest provided, the spoon should remain in the glass at all times.  Keep the long iced teaspoon in your glass after you stir with the handle toward the far side by the index finger and with the remaining 3 fingers and thumb of the hand, hold the glass while you drink.  It is quite easy to drink your tea and hold the teaspoon in the glass, and if you practice it, you will be able to handle it with grace!  Remember that once used, a utensil is never placed back on the table.

Sugar and lemon are both offered with iced tea.  Add sugar first, otherwise the citric acid of the lemon prevents the sugar from dissolving.  You may place the lemon slice/wedge directly into the poured glass of tea, but it is not necessary to press the lemon.

What to do with a sweetener packet?  Use the sweetener packet and tuck the empty packet discreetly under the edge of your saucer/dinner plate.

In the South, your iced tea goblet may be adorned with a pretty doily bonnet...I've had my bonnets for many years and they are great to use outdoors!

Remember your Teas and Q's:
~Swallow your food before you sip your tea.
~Don't slurp your tea...sip!
~Don't place your iced teaspoon directly onto the table after you have used it, place it onto the iced teaspoon rest, or leave it in the glass.
~It's "iced tea" not ice tea.
~Look into the glass of tea while you are sippin', not over it.
~Stir the tea liquid gently with the iced teaspoon.

Royals Coming to America

The Royals are coming y'all!

Prince Charles and Duchess Camilla are coming to America!  On March 17th, they will arrive and spend three days undertaking a broad range of engagements in Washington, D.C. and Louisville, KY.  

Just in case you run into them, you must make sure that you follow proper Royal Etiquette.

Do you curtsy, bow, salute, or shake hands?  Unless you are British, you don't curtsy or bow to British Royalty.  Wait until they speak to you before you speak.  Don't shake hands until the royal hand is offered to you.  

When meeting the Prince, it's a gracious gesture to give a bow from the head.  Address the Prince as "Your Royal Highness," then "Sir."

When meeting the Duchess you might do a little bob, just to show respect.  Address the Duchess as "Your Royal Highness," then "Ma'am."

If you are British, you curtsy to the Duchess...Put your right foot behind your left foot and briefly lower yourself several inches while bending at the knees with one foot forward.  Be sure to keep your upper body straight.

Sarah Brown, wife of the former U.K. Prime Minister Gordon Brown, gracefully curtsies to the Duchess of Cornwall.

Hugging or kissing a member of the Royal Family is definitely a Royal Etiquette faux pas!

Social Graces Sunday--Remembering Names

Goodness gracious, have you ever forgotten the name of someone you were just introduced to?  How embarrassing is that?!  How does it feel when someone forgets your name?  Not good, right?  Usually you forget someone's name because you are not listening or paying attention.  It happens to all of us...You meet someone during a social function and the next day you see that person again and draw a blank on their name.  Faces are easy to remember, but names, not so easy.

Having just moved to a new town, I meet new people every day.  I'll admit that it's not easy to remember all the names of the new acquaintances I've met at church, at shops, neighbors, et cetera.  

Remembering a person's name is being polite and considerate.  It's the most basic step in showing respect and building a meaningful relationship.  There is no sound as sweet as the sound of one's own name.  You have to make an active effort to focus on the person's name to remember someone's name.  

When you are introduced to someone, repeat their name.  "It's nice to meet you Mary."  Use the person's name frequently in conversation and when saying goodbye.

Find something about Mary and associate that as a visual with her name; i.e., a similar person, place, or thing that you will remember later.  You might also ask for the person's card and make a note later on the card to help you remember the face to the card.

When people wear name badges in public gatherings, it makes things a lot easier!  Name badges should be worn on your right shoulder.  The reason is when we extend our right hand {always the right hand} for a hand shake, our eye automatically goes in the direction of the person's right hand and their right shoulder.  

Everyone struggles with remembering names from time to time.  If you forget someone's name say "Please tell me your name again."

How to Descend Stairs Gracefully

While watching a national pageant recently, I could not help noticing one of the girls in the Top 5 descending the stairs very ungraciously.  She was wearing a tight evening gown that flared just a bit at the bottom.  Instead of stepping down with one foot on each step, she had to step down with the right foot, then the left foot on the same step.  It was very awkward!  Of course, safety comes first, but if your gown is too tight to descend stairs graciously, you need to wear a different style of gown.

I was taught that you stand at the top of the stairs with your head held high and shoulders back.  Turn your body at slight angle away from the stair rail and place your hand on the rail.  Don't grip the rail unless you start to fall.  If there is no rail, you are on your own.  Glide down the stairs gracefully.  This takes practice, practice, practice y'all. 

Above all, please don't clunk all the way down the stairs in a loud and tacky fashion.

Social Graces Sunday

Getting In and Out of a Car With Poise

The Queen of England and the Duchess of Cambridge have both been schooled in Royal Etiquette and part of that study is surely to know how to get in and out of a car with poise.


You don't have to be a Royal to know how to do it like a Royal.

Getting Into a Car:
Stand close to the car, facing forward.  Always enter with your bottom side first and swivel both legs in (knees together, please) at the same time.

Getting Out of a Car:
Before you open the car door, pull yourself together and make sure you pull your skirt down.  Swing both of your legs towards the exit of the car.  Open the car door as far as you can.  Place the foot nearest to the door on the ground while keeping your knees together.  Place the other foot on the ground.  Do this in one quick move.  Keep your head up and lift yourself from the sitting position to the standing position.  If you are wearing a mini skirt, hopefully you will have a scarf or a purse to drape over your lap as you exit.

Just remember to keep your knees together!

National Soup Month

Did you know?

I know...it's also National Hot Tea Month, National Oatmeal Month (I won't go there), and National Whatever Else Month!  But yesterday was rainy and cold, not to mention we watched the National College Football Championship Game...Boo Hoo, Florida State wasn't there!  I find myself craving the comfort of piping hot soups during these times, so I made a big pot of the Taste of Gourmet Positively Smashing Potato Soup...

It's a deliciously flavorful and perfectly creamy potato soup that is easy and quick to prepare.  Just add milk and simmer.  Well, I added a little bit of diced onion, carrot, celery, red bell pepper, red potatoes, and whole corn kernels.  Lord have mercy y'all, this is a great soup!  The mix makes 1 1/2 quarts for $9.95.

Remember to practice proper soup etiquette:

Hold the spoon just like a pencil between your index and middle fingers with the thumb up.  Spoon the soup away from you toward the center of the bowl.  Don't fill the soup spoon completely full.  Place the soup spoon on the plate in the 10:20 "I am finished" position in between sips and when you have finished.  Never leave a soup spoon in a soup bowl.  Also, do not blow on your soup to cool it down and do not slurp your soup.

Enjoy the soup season!

National Hot Tea Month

Y'all know I love to celebrate every occasion and since January is National Hot Tea Month, I'll be sippin' hot tea every chance I get.  After the rush of the holidays, I'm ready to relax, organize my stuff, and plan for the new year.

To sit and have a cup of tea is one of the most relaxing things that you can do.  It's not the actual drinking of the tea, but the ritual of boiling the water, preparing the tea, and patiently waiting and anticipating quiet time.  It slows you down from your hectic pace and gives you a chance to take a deep breath and relax.

I do love to visit tearooms when I travel or when I'm at home.  In the past I've been able to locate lots of tearooms on Tea Map and The Tea House Times.  Unfortunately, it seems as though proper tearooms are becoming a thing of the past and that's a shame.  Taking tea in a tearoom is so relaxing and gives us a chance to practice proper etiquette.

If you are taking tea at home, you may serve at the dining table.  This is the correct place setting...The hostess pours the tea for each guest and serves them individually from the right-hand side.  Teacups and saucers are never passed around the table.  After all the guests have been served tea, the hostess serves herself and the tea begins.

If you choose to take your tea at the coffee table, it is called a "Low Tea" and this is the proper setting.  Remember when taking tea at a coffee table, pick up the teacup and saucer together.  The teacup should never be more than 12" away from the saucer.

Yes, there is tea etiquette to be followed.  My favorite books are by one of my favorite etiquette teachers, Ms. Dorothea Johnson.  These books are must-reads for those who take tea for business or pleasure and to teach children about the etiquette rules observed at afternoon tea...from the invitations to the thank-you notes.  You can order these books at my "Miss Janice Recommends" page.

"At tea, as in any other interaction, we are not free to act merely as we please, but we must act with mutual consideration, as befits our independence."  ~Dorothy Johnson

Today it is so cold here in Georgia and I'm only going to leave the house to go to the gym.  Right now I'm enjoying an "Elevenses Tea"...tea with a little treat.  Harney Tea is my absolute favorite and I steeped their "Florence" tea and am nibbling on shortbread while I'm piddling around the house.

Poise, Style, and Grace

What is poise?  It is a way of moving that shows a graceful, dignified, and self confident manner. Never underestimate good posture.  Sit up straight.  Watch the way you walk. Princess Grace had impeccable posture.

What is style?  It's the personal touch that you put on everything--your home interior, your fashion wardrobe, and entertaining.  It's important to develop your own style...your "signature style."  Your "signature style" is what makes you unique; stay true to yourself and your creation will be unique.  Find a signature style and stick to it.  Princess Grace loved pearls, scarves, sunglasses, Hermes bags, and her trademark white gloves.  She knew that her hair looked best pulled off of her face.  She is a style icon.

What is grace? Having the confidence to handle any situation with poise. Princess Grace undoubtedly received "Princess training" before she became the wife of Prince Ranier. Her upbringing in high society of Philadelphia paved the ground for Grace's future life as a lady full of grace.

How to Hold A Clutch Purse

Evening Etiquette: How To Correctly Carry A Clutch

From Town and Country Magazine

with my 2 cents

What do you do when you have a glass of champagne in one hand, a clutch in the other, and you are introduced to someone? How do you juggle it all? 

I find myself winking at people when I first meet them and don't have an available hand. Some people enjoy it, others walk away quickly.  I would keep the beverage in my left hand and tuck the clutch under my left arm, leaving my right hand free to shake hands.

Should you dance with your clutch or leave it at the table? Dancing with a clutch is a no no. Leave it on top of the table and let people appreciate it.  I would leave the clutch on my chair seat.

What's the most flattering way to hold a clutch when getting photographed at an event? With a straight arm by your side.  I need to start holding my clutches with way.

What do you always carry in your clutch to a black tie event? Visine, Purell, tissues or a q-tip (but probably tissues), By Terry Baume de Rose lip balm, black eye liner, mints, $—and yes, it does all fit!!  I carry an ID, keys, debit card, Burt's Bees lip balm, Chanel lipstick, mints, and cash.

How do you make everything fit? Clever packing. Yes, clever packing!

If you're wearing a black dress what kind of clutch color palette would you recommend this fall? I love deco colors like mint, emerald, sapphire and amethyst.  I love black or gold {old school}.

Is matching your shoes to your bag a do or a don't in your book? Totally unnecessary. As long as they play nicely off each other.  Lord have mercy, I always try to match my shoes to my pocketbook {very old school}!

Wedding Guest Etiquette

We all know that Brides want to follow Wedding Etiquette, but did you know that there is etiquette to followed when you are a guest at a wedding?

I love this recent article in Southern Living Weddings "The Complete Guide to Being a Perfectly Southern Wedding Guest."

Before the Wedding

RSVP as soon as possible

Once you have your invitation in hand, make note of the RSVP date, and send your response as far in advance as you can. Better yet, if you already know you're attending, turn around and drop the RSVP card in the mail immediately!  If you don't R.s.v.p., people will remember!

Respect the guest list 

If you're single and the bride and groom would like you to bring a guest, your invitation will say "and guest," or they will call you ahead of time to see whom you'd like to bring and address the invitation accordingly. Children are invited if the invitation lists their names or says "and family." For heaven's sake, don't call the couple and ask to bring people they didn't invite—that's uncomfortable for everyone.  I had to remind my single brother of this rule recently...he was about to commit a wedding guest etiquette faux pas by bringing a date!

Utilize the resources the couple provides 

Read the couple's wedding website thoroughly before asking questions about travel or schedules. If you really can't find information you need, try contacting the mother of the bride or a member of the bridal party before asking the bride or groom directly, especially in the weeks and days leading up to the wedding.  Try not to bother the Bride...she's aready in a big tizzy.

At the ceremony

Be mindful of the dress code

This will often be specified on the wedding website, but if not, make an educated guess using the invitation, venue, and time of day as guides. A sundress and wedges are probably fine for an afternoon barn wedding, but an evening ballroom wedding requires at least a cocktail dress. When in doubt, dress up. Many guests look forward to weddings as opportunities to look their very best, and we love this tradition! Additionally, pay special attention to the attire guidelines for ceremonies held in houses of worship.  Make sure you know the difference between White Tie and Black Tie...White Tie--for the men, black dress tailcoat with matching slacks, white wing-collard shirt with cuff links, white vest, and black patent shoes with black socks.  For the the ladies--a floor-length gown.  Black Tie--for the men, black tuxedo jacket and matching slacks, formal white shirt with cuff links, black bow tie, black cummerbund, and black patent shoes with black socks. For the ladies--floor-length gown or dressy cocktail dress.

Don't wear white

Unless the bride and groom expressly ask you to wear white, don't do it. Some people consider this rule out of date, because no one will mistake a guest for the bride, but even if you know the bride won't mind, it's very likely that other guests will find your choice of attire rude or disrespectful. With all of the beautiful and colorful options available today, leave the white sundress at home for this one.  I am old-fashioned and still follow this rule and I don't wear red or black to a wedding either...that's just me!

Arrive at least 15 minutes (and up to a half hour) before the ceremony 

Give yourself time to park your car, pick up your program, and take your seat without even a chance of running into the bride before her walk down the aisle! Weddings are one occasion where there is no such thing as fashionably late. If you do arrive after the specified time despite your best efforts, an usher may be able to direct you inside at an appropriate time. If not, wait for a "louder" part of the ceremony, such as a hymn, before quietly seating yourself in the back.  Yes please be on time!

Put your camera and cell phone away (on silent)

Many couples now specifically request "unplugged" ceremonies, but even if they don't, resist the urge to snap pictures at the ceremony. Not only can a clicking camera be distracting to other guests, but it can also make the professional photographer's job difficult.  Respect the wishes of the Bride and Groom.

At the Reception

Don't attend the reception if you didn't go to the ceremony

The ceremony is the most important part of the wedding, and the reception is a celebration of that—not just a party. If you don't want to attend both, it may be best to stay at home.  Enough said.

Sit in the appropriate seat 

If the bride and groom have specified table numbers and seating assignments, sit where they ask you to. They have probably spent several hours laboring over whom to place where, and who knows what connections you'll make with your fellow guests!  This is a pet peeve of mine.  Never rearrange a placecard or ask the host if you can switch seats with someone...it's so tacky!

Be mindful of social media 

While couples almost universally prefer to have their ceremonies be social media free, there's not a one-size-fits-all guide for the reception. Some couples make it clear (often with a hashtag sign) that they welcome guests sharing photos, posts, or tweets, while others would prefer not to have their photos splashed over every newsfeed. Follow the couple's lead, or let your best judgment of their personalities guide your sharing.  Don't be tweeting or instagramming their photos before they do!  

Have fun!

Enjoy the meal, get on the dance floor, sign the guest book, attempt to catch the bouquet, and wish the bride and groom well. They've worked hard to make their reception a wonderful evening for you as well as them, and they'll be thrilled to see you having a good time.  Lord have mercy, don't make a scene!

After the Wedding

Send a thank-you note 

While your duties as a guest largely conclude when you head home from the reception (after the cake is cut, of course!), there's one surefire way to earn yourself a spot in the hall of fame: Send a thank-you note. A handwritten message to the bride and groom and/or to their parents, if they're hosting, can mean so much after a year or more of intense planning.  It is always appropriate to send a thank-you note!