Last night I hosted the monthly "
Flamingo Ladies Book Club" at my house. Being the hostess, I was given the opportunity to choose the book. Hmmmmmm, what to choose? Well, one of my favorite books is "
Being Dead is No Excuse," by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays.
We Southerners take funerals and graveyards seriously. This is the official Southern ladies guide to throwing the perfect funeral--it's just hilarious y'all! But first,
"Here's What I Wore." These cute little slacks were given to me by my friend Joy...they are lime green with pink flamingos--just too cute for my "Flamingo Book Club." The white cotton turtleneck is by
Ralph Lauren and the pink cable knit sweater is also by
Ralph Lauren.
I just love the pattern...this is the Sandra Lee in me!
I wore my pink
Lilly mules {after I realized I still had on my night slippers when the first guest had arrived}, my
Ralph Lauren pearl stud earrings, my
Cartier roll ring wedding band, a pink grosgrain ribbon adorned my usual ponytail, and
Lilly *Wink* was my fragrance of choice!
Nobody in the world eats better than a bereaved Southerner. Many Delta cooks keep their pantry stocked with staples to prepare funeral-appropriate dishes, when needed. This book reminds us of all the appropriate dishes for a funeral reception, some of which I prepared for the book club ladies. It also lets us know which foods would be totally inappropriate and tacky to take to the bereaved; foods such as: A leafy green salad--
no comfort in this dish! A cobb salad--
way too high falutin! Ribs--
Good Lord, don't even think about taking this dish to a bereaved family...how tacky!
Need to know which hymns are
appropriate funeral hymns?--{Oh God our Help in Ages Past} and which are
inappropriate (Battle Hymn of the Republic}.
Not sure about "the right funeral flower to send?" Choose Casablanca lillies or delicate pink roses over carnations or gladiolus!
All Southern ladies have a summer and winter funeral frock hanging in the closet at all times. I can tell you that my mama,
Miss Pauline, has always carried a funeral frock with her when she travels out of town...
always!
When I lived in California, I was a member of a book club there and we always served food mentioned in the book we read. So, I prepared food that is mentioned in the book--
perfectly proper food for a Southern funeral reception!
{Y'all simply have to excuse the rumpled tablecloth and that ghastly cord in the right-hand corner! Y'all just have to!} All the appropriate funeral reception foods are here...the centerpiece--pale pink roses,
oh-so proper!
HERE'S MY MENU:
Cheese Straws, the cocktail snack of the South...
Salted Pecans, a favorite at all Southern receptions...
Artichoke Spread, another popular cocktail accompaniment in the South.
Pimiento Cheese is known as the "Southern Pate." It's a funeral staple...the paste that holds the South together!
Stuffed Eggs are associated so closely with death that anytime you see the lady of the house getting down the egg plate, you might well ask, 'Who died?'
There's always a
Ham Platter at a Southern funeral reception.
Southern Fried Chicken "is traditionally served when the preacher comes to Sunday lunch," however, it's very at-home at funeral receptions.
"
Grits is a comfort food that has helped to heal many a
Southern soul."
"Nothing whispers sympathy quite like a
Frozen Pea Casserole with canned bean sprouts and mushroom soup."
Liketa Died Potatoes are the last thing a snoot would take to somebody's house, but the first thing to be eaten!"
Cheese Biscuits...comfort food at its' best!
Coconut Cake...just sooooo Southern y'all!
Another pink Christmas tree y'all. This one is decorated with little pink flamingos--
party favors for my guests!
Each guest took home a flamingo ornament...attached to their "leftover" container!
Funeral Etiquette Remember that death, like all other life-cycle events, has etiquette rules that should be observed. These etiquette rules simply must be followed...'cuz y'all know--people will talk!
~When learning of someone's death, you should contact the family immediately to offer your condolences.
~In the South, as soon as the word is out that someone has passed away, casseroles and other appropriate funeral foods are dispensed to the grieving family--that's just what we do.
~Obituaries in the South are a little different from those you might read in other parts of the Country--people "pass away", "enter into eternal rest,"are called to eternal glory," or they "slip away suddenly." Some Southerners feel the word "death" is just too tacky.
~Southern ladies have been known to be buried in an evening gown, prom dress, or a lace peignoir.
~Dark conservative clothing should be worn to the funeral home and to the funeral service.
~Pull your vehicle over to the side of the road when a funeral procession is passing by--this shows respect for the deceased person and for those who are grieving.
The Sympathy Note and the Thank-You Note:
Even if you send flowers and attend the funeral, you should still send a sympathy note. A proper sympathy note soothes. Notes are almost as important as food and
Southern mothers work hard to ensure that their children grow up able to write a good one! They know they will be judged on this. It is fine to say how difficult it is to find the words to express your feelings. If you are sincere, offer your help in a sympathy note. Avoid phrases such as "Please let me know if there is anything I can do," instead, offer to supply a meal or run an errand for the family. Phrases such as "Please know that we are thinking about you and you have our deepest sympathies" are appropriate in a condolence note.
Thank-you notes are sent out as soon as possible to those who sent flowers, sent food, made donations, or participated in the funeral. Of course, it is acceptable to send a thank-you note to anyone who made a special trip to attend the funeral or sent a sympathy card. It is never considered wrong to send a thank-you note!
So, if you want to know what happens the minute a
Southerner passes away, read this book! Thank you for stopping by today...I'll be back on Wednesday with photos of one last Christmas tablescape and Christmas tree.
Well, it's the end of another year in our lives! I'm looking forward to 2010...hoping that the economy in our Country will improve and that people who are without jobs will find a good place to work and make a living. I'm also hoping that all y'all will be able to achieve the resolutions and goals that you have made.
Will you be hosting or attending a festive event? Remember that you should never arrive at someone's home empty-handed...and y'all know by now that Miss Janice always gives her guests party favors! I still love this idea for party favors...or to take as a hostess gift...Give them a cute little gift of champagne. This is a four-pack box, filled with a split of champagne, two inexpensive champagne goblets, some party horns, black shred, and of course--black gingham ribbon!
Whatever you do this evening...be safe and have a Happy New Year y'all!
Well, the big day is almost upon us! Are you ready? Did you somehow get behind like moi? I need another month, please! Y'all come on in and peek inside my little cottage kitchen at "The Roost." It has a bartop counter {I featured that tablescape and tree in a previous post}, a small island, and a small breakfast area. As "husband" says, "I've crammed it full of stuff!" Take a look...
Yes ma'am, when I lived in Palm Springs, California, my entire house was decked out in palm tree, cheetah print, and eiffel tower motif items--with a few monkeys thrown in! That was right before I renamed the house "The Magnolia & Ivy Cottage" and entered my tea house days...that's another phase and another story...
This is a tablescape I did last year also, but I've added a few things and changed it up a bit...
